Broken? Need fixing? Or simply perfectly imperfect?

‘Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re not broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure’ – Steve Maraboli

We know that repeated actions and thoughts become our reality. It’s the whole purpose of positive affirmations – if we tell yourselves often enough that we are strong, beautiful, happy or whatever it is we desire, then eventually that is exactly how we begin to feel about ourselves. Not only do we begin to feel that way, but we also begin to act as if we are that person. For example, if we want to lose weight and we tell ourselves we are beautiful, strong, that we love exercise and eating healthy food then soon our behaviour mirrors our words and we begin rejecting unhealthy options and moving our bodies more. It takes time, but before we know it, we’ve lost the weight that we wanted to lose and not only that, but we feel better and happier as a result. Loving ourselves is a huge part of this.

‘You do not need fixing or self-help so much as you need self-love and acceptance. When you show yourself unconditional love and compassion, old unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviour naturally begin to fade away’ – Mike Dooley

Of course, it stands to reason that the opposite is also true. If we tell ourselves we are broken then, guess what, broken we will be. Anything we tell ourself, becomes our reality. If we don’t like ourselves, then we are feeding the same thoughts and behaviours that lead to the same unhealthy outcomes, whether that be physical or emotional. But if we can love ourselves, we can begin to accept who we are. Instead of saying ‘I am broken’, we could say “I am healing’.

‘You’re not broken. You’re in pain. And pain passes. In fact, it doesn’t just pass, it leaves you with superpowers you didn’t have before. A knowledge of how strong you can be. A new depth of character. An ability to relate to more people in life. An increased empathy. And a fearlessness that comes from knowing that the last thing that FELT like dying didn’t ACTUALLY kill you’.

I believe that things happen for a reason, even if it sometimes takes a while to fully understand what the reason is or was. Just like the quote above says, if we have suffered heartache, pain or disappointment, it shows us our strengths, our ability to move forward and a better understanding of ourselves. But only if we allow ourselves to learn from the experience and believe that the experience itself, or our feelings and thoughts about it, doesn’t define us as a person.

‘You are not damaged. You are not broken. You are healing from a traumatic experience. Take care of yourself. Be patient and continue to work’ –

Someone once told me that they were broken. They used the phrase to explain why they were incapable of doing something that they dearly wanted but didn’t feel strong enough to handle. They had been through a lot and they wanted to live a life which was full of joy and free from the traumas of the past. But because they felt that they were broken, they couldn’t move on. Sometimes it can be said as a cry for help, to seek attention or maybe even an excuse for not doing something. Sometimes it is a symptom of depression and if this is you, please seek help. But we have the power within ourselves to turn the phrase around and accept that a particular situation or experience has caused a huge amount of pain or trauma but that it will pass if we let it. We don’t have to remain stuck in the place of pain, repeating the behaviour or thoughts over and over again.

‘We were rough around the edges, but that didn’t make us worthless. Being a little damaged does not make someone broken. It just means they have better stories to tell and cooler scars’ – A. J. Mendez Brooks

So what’s your tiny tweak going to be? We’re all in a different place in our life, on our own personal journey so it’s not easy to come up with one tweak that we can all work on, but we can all add positive affirmations into our lives. Is that something you could try this week?

Finally, I’d like to leave you with this quote: ‘Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional’ – Haruki Murakami.

Until next time xx

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