What’s keeping you stuck?

‘For what it’s worth; it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over’ – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Sometimes in life we find it hard to move forward. It could be about lots of different things and for all sorts of reasons. Maybe you’re stuck in a job you don’t like or a relationship you’re unhappy in but something stops you from making the change you know you need to make. Maybe you want to stop smoking or drinking or you want to lose weight but something stops you from eating healthily and exercising. Why is that?

Almost always the reason is fear. Fear of failure, of making the wrong choice, of the unknown. We might think that if we change jobs it could be even worse than where we are now. Or if we leave our romantic relationship we may never meet anyone else who will love us or maybe we’re so worried about what our friends, partner or children might think, it stops us from moving forward. Maybe we’re scared that if we stop drinking or lose weight we will somehow be a different person, our friends won’t like us or that we might attract attention we don’t want. But are these fears justified?

The answer is, we can’t possibly know what the outcome will be! By imagining the worst possible scenario, we stop ourselves from doing anything, essentially making a deliberate choice to stay stuck where we are.

But if we want to be happy, to have satisfying, fulfilled lives, we need to take chances in life. Maybe we could try thinking about the best possible outcome instead of the worst. There’s no reason why this positive outcome shouldn’t happen. In fact, evidence shows that what you believe will happen is more likely to actually happen. So if you believe the outcome will be good then the chances are it will be. If you believe the opposite then you can probably expect things to not turn out quite so well. Try saying the words ‘it’s a problem’ out loud. They sound heavy and negative don’t they? But then try saying ‘It’s an opportunity’ and see how different it sounds. Suddenly the same thing becomes positive, intriguing, maybe even exciting.

Eckhart Tolle, author of ‘The Power of Now’, says ‘Whatever you resist, not only persists but grows’, meaning that if you keep thinking about the bad stuff, that will take over. It’s important to move forward in life, not stay stuck in a place which isn’t healthy or doesn’t make you happy. He also says, ‘It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living’. Don’t let that be you.

Is 2022 the year to unstick yourself? To be brave and make a big change?

Even though we’re talking about big changes here, we can still put in place tiny tweaks to help us. Positive self-talk is so important if you’re planning a big change. Affirmations are good here. Telling yourself that you are strong, capable, intelligent and independent really helps us to believe in ourselves and make the changes we want to make. Build up your self-confidence, believe in yourself.

We can also take small steps to achieve a much bigger goal. Rome wasn’t built in a day and a big change may not happen overnight. Whatever the goal is, we need to plan, prepare and take the small steps which, ultimately, lead to moving forward. The important thing is that we don’t stay stuck in a place which is unhealthy and affects our mental health. Can you commit to doing it? Go on, be brave!

Until next time xx

If you enjoyed this post, please give it a like and let me know in the comments. If you know someone else who might like to read it, please feel free to share or reblog. Are you making a big change this year? What’s stopped you doing it up to now? Can you move past the fear?